Chapter 18: Dash Manor

Dash Manor was Jason and Lil Ron’s friend growing up. They had all played basketball together. Unlike Jason and Lil Ron, Dash was serious about basketball and played for the Mira Costa High School team.

Dash also had a love for Xanax which is something Lil Ron and he bonded over.

The first time I met Dash he was with a friend of his whose parents were out of town for the week. Dash had convinced his friend to take the keys and drive a car his parents had left behind. His friend did not even have a license.

Jason and I got picked up and the four of us were going to go to a party at someone's house. On the way Dash insisted on his friend stopping so he could get Taco Bell. We go through the drive thru and get our food.

As we are pulling out of the parking lot onto the street, Dash drops his Taco Bell cup, and it rolls behind the brake pedal. The driver goes to hit the brake, and he is unable to. The car smashes right into the back of a parked car. Right in front of this outdoor eating place where at least 50 people are eating.

Dash grabs his backpack from the backseat where Jason and I are sitting. He opens the passenger door where he is sitting and runs off full speed. Jason hesitates for a moment and then follows suit.

I did not even know the driver. I had weed on me and this kid getting into an accident with no license was definitely going to attract police. I turned to him and apologized and then took off running myself. I caught up to Jason and Dash a few blocks away.

Dash was a bit of a ladies' man despite being low IQ. Dash was always getting invited to parties with girls. He only invited our group a fraction of the times.

Sometimes on weekend nights when the crew had assembled to hang out and drink at Jason’s garage, Dash would show up later in the night, drunk and pilled out looking for somewhere to sober up.

He would lay down on the couch in the garage and fall asleep.

Jason and I did not really appreciate when he went to parties with girls and did not invite us. Even more so when he showed up after the parties using Jason’s garage as a place to take a nap.

We started drawing on his face with markers while he was sleeping. We would give him a Hitler mustache or a unibrow. Sometimes we drew a penis on his cheek.

The best part was Dash would randomly wake up and remember he had to go home. He would just take off without looking in a mirror or knowing we had drawn on him.

Apparently, Dash had gone home and ran into his conservative uncle on the way in his house. His uncle saw a heart and a penis drawn on his forehead and asked Dash:

“Are you gay son?”

After that Dash started making a little hobbit hole for himself to sleep in. He literally created a blanket fort with old clothes and blankets that were in Jason’s garage. He used boxes and the backside of the couch along the sides to prop it up.

When he came over and passed out, he crawled down into his blanket fort tunnel. No one was going to try and climb down into his hobbit hole to draw on him.

We were not sure if it was the old blankets or Dash, but it smelled like someone had thrown up down there.

After the run in with T.J. outside my house, I purchased a taser online from a website and started carrying it on me. When Jody started messing with Jason and his family, I had given the taser to Jason to keep at his house.

We used to mess around with it and taser people when we were drunk. Mostly Dyno Mutt. I got Lil Ron really good one time too.

We found a metal clothes hanger and bent it straight. Then we wrapped the clothes hanger around the prongs on the taser. The clothes hanger worked as a conductor and anyone who touched the clothes hanger when the taser was active got tased. Essentially, we created a long range taser.

We started to stick the clothes hanger through the holes in Dash’s blanket fort while he was sleeping and use the taser on him. He would jump out of his sleep and end up destroying the roof on his hobbit hole.

Initially he was not sure what was happening. We managed to convince him he was getting static shock from the blankets. I told him that older unwashed blankets are more likely to store left over electricity.

Sooner or later, he figured out it was us tasing him.

Chapter 19: Peter