Chapter 3: Kink

I can remember being obsessed with the woman on the cover of the Blink 182 album “Enema of the State” when I was in elementary school. For those who are not familiar with the album cover, it features a sexy nurse played by Porn star Janine Lindemulder.

I purchased the CD with a gift card I had received for my birthday. At the time I was not really even into music or Blink 182. I bought the CD for the sexy nurse on the cover. 

I did however end up liking the music and Blink 182, so it was a happy accident.

My first major crush was on the tallest blond girl in school. She had big tits for a sixth grader and used to bully me all through elementary school. One time she even tackled me and made me kiss her feet.

While she definitely had a lasting impression on me, I think it was mostly the fetish inspired scenes I saw in mainstream movies, that first sparked my curiosity for BDSM and tainted my mind for life.

Movies like Bedazzled with Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman, The Librarian in Tomcats, Liv Tyler in One night at McCools, Lucy Lawlass in Eurotrip. The movies with scenes that briefly exposed me to sexy Dominant women. 

I went through my developmental years in the late 90s and early 2000s. There really was not the buffet of free porn on the internet that exists today. Teenagers today don't know how lucky they are.

My sexual interests were influenced by the cornucopia of content I watched in R rated films and adult content featured on HBO and Cinemax after 8pm. I was raised by “Skinemax” and HBO Real Sex.

How I stumbled upon true hardcore BDSM porn on the internet was actually a pure accident. My grandparents were attempting to purchase custom handmade furniture online. They are super conservative Christians and lacked any real experience with the internet. They asked me to sit down with them and help navigate the use of a search engine.

I am really not sure how it came up in results for furniture, but we accidentally ended up stumbling across this absolute hardcore 90s ZFX bondage porn site with women being tied up to wood furniture and fucked.

Luckily, I was able to close out the site before my Grandparents realized what it was. 

Days later, I was able to retrace my steps and find the site again for further inspection.

After some exploratory research on the internet, I refined my interests and figured out, although watching these women get tied up and fucked definitely turned me on, I was more into Female Domination or Femdom for short (when the women were in charge). I liked Dominant head strong women to say the least.

Truthfully, I do not think I knew enough about Femdom or the various other fetishes connected to it, to know exactly what I wanted yet. I just liked the outfits and the fantasy of getting bossed around by beautiful women. I especially liked nurses.

Chapter 4: A Girl named Sara